The reSearch Angel

I am soooooo pumped up right now I can’t even go to bed. Last week I offered to help a woman find her boyfriends father that he had not seen since he was a baby. (25 years ago) Mother took him away from him. For some reason the information she sent in messenger was hidden until today. It was late but I thought I would at least take a look before I called it a night. Within 30 minutes I had a match. The last names are such common names there is no reason I should have found him this quick. In the end it was the simple mention that the father had a lazy eye that was the determining factor. I pray the contact goes well and a relationship can be built. I am definitely doing the happy dance right now……

It never gets old. Tears, cheers and goose bumps. Whether I am watching a reunion on YouTube or I am completing a successful case of my own. After 48 years but only 4 days of research a birthmother will go to bed tonight knowing where her daughters are sleeping and that they are safe.

Being provided with only first names and approximate dates of birth, I can only contribute my success to the messages sent from a real angel. The feeling that you are being guided through the search. Being careful every step of the way not getting an already anxious mothers hopes up. Because you know that over the past 48 years she has had her heart broken many times. And then the moment you realize you have solved the case. But only after you have learned so much about the family and their lives for the last 48 years you feel like you know them personally.

You pray that all involved are as excited about the connection as you are. And then you stop and remember the adoptive parents. The ones who opened their hearts and homes to these children. They are the true angels.

So when most people hear about searches and reunions they think of the TV series that has been popular on TV the past few years. Where the person helping with the search gets an unlimited budget and gets to fly all over the country to interview and meet the person searching and the person found. Then they fly them to a beautiful location where after the commercial we see the tearful reunion.

I would never downplay these beautiful stories. I never miss an episode. But these are only a few of the thousands of cases solved every year. Whether it is reuniting adopted children with siblings and birth parents or finding family and friends that want to reconnect, Volunteer Search Angels work thousands and thousands of hours and with no fanfare solving these cases. No lights, No cameras, and No music, but still a story to be told…….

Today I finished a successful search. I was able to locate both the maternal side and paternal side of an adoptees family. I happen to personally know the adoptee which makes it even more exciting. Most cases are not as intense as this. Off hand I can say I have had less than ten that I felt I knew the family details even better than some of my own family details. It can be a sad day when you have to move on to the next case. But your heart is filled with joy knowing that someone got the answers they have been seeking for a very long time. Today I sent my final note update and included this thank you note…..

“At this point I will now go through Search Angel withdrawal. For the past few weeks I have felt like I knew your family, on both sides, better than I know my own family history. I will begin to wipe from my memory the names and birthdates that I have memorized. You have a plethora of information. You probably have enough people contacts and information to fill volumes of notebooks if you choose. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me this opportunity to be part of the journey into your past. It is my passion to know that I was able to help put some of those pieces back in your life puzzle.”

 

Did you ever have a day that everything you touch just goes terribly wrong? You might even think to yourself it would have been better if you never got out of your bed. That was not an option for me so instead I made it a point to find my purpose for the day. I had to find the reason that I was to be part of humanity instead of a lump under my bed sheets at home.

I headed out to lunch and began to read emails while waiting for my meal to arrive. That is where I found the special request, soon to be my purpose for this day. A woman was trying to help her elderly cousin with a wish to be reunited with her twins born in the 1950’s. She had been searching for decades. She gave them up at birth when she was just 14 years old being told that she would never be able to give them the life they deserved so she made that heartbreaking decision to put them first.

Jokingly I thought to myself, wow if I could pull this one off it would be like a BOGO Reunion! Before lunch was over I had all the answers I needed. With the information she provided I was shocked and sad that someone had not helped her sooner. The boys, now almost senior citizens themselves were about to speak to their mother for the first time in 60 years. After talking over the phone it was like they had known each other for years. They will be meeting face to face this weekend.

So next time your thinking your day was a waste find your purpose. I promise… you will feel better!

 

After taking a few months off I decided this week to begin some new cases. I came across a woman looking for her brother that was born out of the country but suspected he was now living in the US. He was taken out of the country at only a few months old. It took her several days to find my message, she responded this morning. She had agreed that she would send me all the information she had via email. I did not get to look at it until late this afternoon. I was so discouraged when I saw that she had already been working with another very well known Angel named Priscilla. She is so resourceful and talented. I almost did not even read any further….if Priscilla could not complete the search what made me think I would get any further? In less that 15 minutes not only had I found this young woman’s brother but I had pictures and contact information to provide to her. We both cried together as I shared the information with her on FB personal messenger. I will not share any of the details here as this woman is going to proceed very cautiously. He may not even know about his birth father or this sibling.I cannot wait to hear the outcome.

So the lesson today is not to sell yourself short. I tell people this all the time. I guess it is about time I listen to my own words of wisdom.

The past few weeks have been absolutely crazy. The last thing I thought I had time for was a search. But you know that occasion when you find yourself with a few minutes on your hands and you just do a little surfing? You guessed it, I found myself looking for a quick case that I could solve before I went to bed.

The post was very interesting. It was a woman who had come upon some old love letters from the 1940’s. Included with the letters was a handwritten note  announcing the birth of a baby girl. The note was in the same handwriting as the woman who wrote the love letters. It documented the birth of Betty Anne,  her birthdate, place of birth, and the names of the unmarried parents as well. The father of this baby girl was the father of the woman who originally posted looking for what was to be her half sister. Unfortunately the father is deceased, as were many of the players in this mystery. My first thought was this sounded like the makings of a great Saturday afternoon movie. Now it was going to be my job to write the script.

I quickly responded to her post. I found it so intriguing and wanted the opportunity to learn more. In no time at all Emily, as I will call her, wrote back and was willing to share her story. Emily was a pretty good detective herself. She had already determined the full name of the now deceased woman that wrote the letters to her father and had even located some family members. Her contact with them met with denial and resistance which is why she decided to take her findings to the next level. Her wish was to be reunited with the half sister she never knew she had.

Our Facebook IM messages quickly changed to a phone interview. She already had so much information I was certain this was going to be a quick solve. I spent the next several days searching Virginia birth records, death records, marriage records and newspaper clippings. At one point I located a woman with the same name and date of birth as the announcement described. Emily approached her with caution. She was certain this was not her long lost sister but had met a woman that was also anxious for her to be successful in her search.

My next conversation with Emily was just as interesting as the first. She shared some snippets of the letters. I would not be so forward to ask, but when she offered to copy the letters and send them to me I was very excited. I watched the mailbox each day. As I waited I continued to search using my favorite tools of the trade.

The letters arrived in a very large envelope. I poured over them like a bookworm would over a newly released novel. I pulled out my notes with all the known data and dates and developed a timeline. The letters showed a very troubled woman. The relationship as Emily had described was a love-hate affair. She never made mention of her two teenage children or the husband she once had. The letters were very much about her, a seemingly self centered individual. Some of her writings were almost in code, as if she thought someone may see these letters at a point in time. But when reading between the lines I was almost certain this was not going to be the ending that Emily and I had hoped for. I decided to step away from the case for a day and clear my mind.

Yes there was a courtship, as strange as it may have been. It was a love-hate rollercoaster and at times secretive. But it appears that in September of 1947 there was a pregnancy. A registered letter from late 1948 speaks of money that was given to the woman by the man to order a new car and how the man wanted the money returned now since the car was never purchased. Apparently they were in the process of setting up a life together….a future for them and this baby until something went terribly wrong. This fact was found buried in a letter when the woman casually refers to  a “miss” in the fall and how she would never be the same again. This one sentence buried in the pages and pages of rants was the answer to our question. There was no baby Betty Anne. There was no half sister to find. She was only the hopeful wish of a mother who wrote down a name, place of birth and anticipated birthday of the child that didn’t survive. A fantasy and a lesson that serves as a reminder to us all that things are not always what they appear………

Several months ago I met an American Hero. For his privacy I will not mention his real name. I met Joe at the Stand Down Pasco event that connected veterans with services, many of these veterans are homeless. Joe had a wish to find his father who he had not seen in decades and spoken only briefly with in early 2000.  A new wife had severed ties with the rest of the family, so neither Joe or his 6 siblings had been in touch with their father.

Joe was anxious to reconnect with his father. He wanted to tell him about his grandchildren and tell him how much he loved him. It has been a rough few years but things are beginning to turn around for him. He is celebrating 2 years of sobriety and wanted his father to know. Unfortunately I did find that in 2007 Joe’s dad had passed away. In his heart he knew that was a very strong possibility, but we always hope for that perfect storybook ending. I shared the information the day after Thanksgiving. I also shared that perhaps Joe had an angel that has been looking over his shoulder these past two years. I told him that in my heart I knew that his father was looking down and was proud of the man that he had become.

Stand Down is a time for the community to connect with our homeless veterans and to begin to break down the barriers that are keeping these heroes on the streets. The “hand up, not a handout” philosophy of Stand Down requires the work of countless volunteers, businesses, and local, state and national organizations.

I am excited to be part of this event this weekend. I will be on-site offering the services of The Search Angel. This will offer our Veterans an opportunity to have someone assist in possibly locating and reuniting with family. If we are able to help even one of these heroes it will make the weekend well worth while.

The Search Angel,

Gale

It has been months since I had initiated any searches. I hadn’t been feeling that great of late and didn’t have much ambition to do anything extra. Last week I got the itch. Saying to myself I would just take a peek at my favorite sites. And BAM! there it was. A young women looking for her mother. She had her name. So why hadn’t she found her yet? Must be a catch I was sure. Actually no, there wasn’t. Sometimes things are so simple that we overthink it and make it difficult. Within 15 hours of research I found the mothers, sisters, grandparents, and was pretty sure I knew the family story.
As I prepared the documentation to present my findings, the young woman pulled back and didn’t respond, she disappeared from FB. This all before I could tell her I found her family. But today that long awaited phone call and the absolute thrill to be able to tell her, “I found them!” Whooo Hoooo!!!! I’m back!